Elizabeth Taylor is quoted as saying that Mother’s Day is “a commercial rip-off … a chance to sell my perfume and other things that ladies like.”

Well, maybe so, but hey, I’m a mom and I kinda like all the attention.  It’s a day when men and children treat a woman like she’s a queen, or at least they’re supposed to. 

In case you guys and kids are wondering why we like it, I made a list to help you understand what we hear and more importantly, what we’d like to hear.  Guys!  Children!  If you take my hints here, you can’t go wrong!  (P.S.  Just because it says “On Mother’s Day” it doesn’t mean you can’t do these things everyday.  Anytime you want to make some points, go straight to “On Mother’s Day” … do not pass go … do not collect two hundred dollars.)

Here’s what a woman hears/would like to hear:

Everyday:  “What’s for dinner?”

When you’re in trouble:  “Can I help you with dinner?”

On Mother’s Day:  “Where would you like to go for dinner?”

Everyday:  “Are you wearing THAT?

When you’re in trouble:  “Gee, you look good in blue.”

On Mother’s Day:  “Here’s a new outfit for you to wear out to dinner.”

Everyday:  “You bought WHAT?!”

When you’re in trouble:  “Can we at least talk about it?”

On Mother’s Day:  “Here’s some money.  Go shop some more.”

Everyday:  “I can’t believe you’re eating that.”

When you’re in trouble:  “Can I join you?”

On Mother’s Day:  “Here, let me get you a glass of wine with that.”

Everyday:  “What did you DO all day?!”

When you’re in trouble:  “I hope you didn’t overdo it today.”

On Mother’s Day:  “I’ve always loved you in that robe.”

Everyday:  “I’m going to play golf.”

When you’re in trouble:  “Would you like to play golf with me?”

On Mother’s Day:  “I thought we could go to the mall today.”

Everyday:  “Are these dishes clean or dirty?”

When you’re in trouble:  “I’ll load/unload the dishwasher for you.”

On Mother’s Day:  “Stay out of the kitchen.”

Everyday:  “The ballgame comes on at 8 o’clock.”

When you’re in trouble:  “I just want to watch the last couple of innings.”

OnMother’s Day:  “I’d love to watch babies being born on the Woman’s Channel.”

Everyday:  “Do I have any clean underwear?”

When you’re in trouble:  “Can you show me how to turn on this washing machine?”

On Mother’s Day:  “I hired someone to come wash all the clothes and clean the house.”

Everyday:  “The shrubs need watering.”

When you’re in trouble:  “I brought you some flowers because I’m so sorry.” 

On Mother’s Day:  “I brought you some flowers because I love you.”

Hope you have a Happy Mother’s Day!