April Fool’s Day was fun.
It’s always been a pretty big deal in my family. Some of my fondest memories are of the tricks my mom played on us when I was little.
She would sew the necks of our pajamas together so when we got them over our heads we would get stuck. We would squeal with delight, and pretend like we were angry.
“Mom! I can’t believe you sewed my p.j.’s shut!” Of course we all knew our feelings would get hurt if she left us out on any of her little pranks.
She would ALWAYS short-sheet our beds. But it would never fail that by the time I crawled into bed, I would have forgotten it was April 1st. I’d push my feet towards to the foot of my bed and get only halfway there. I’d start giggling just about the time I would hear my brothers giggling from down the hall.
One year she bought some fake spiders and mixed them up with our food. It was always so much fun.
Well, in keeping with the tradition, I have always played April Fool’s pranks on my kids. This year was no exception.
A needle and thread go a long way on April 1st. I started by sewing their top sheets to their bottom sheets. Then I sewed their pillow shams to the bedspread on top of that. Then I sewed my daughter’s stuffed animals to the covers. My son has a folded comforter at the foot of his bed, so I sewed it together so it wouldn’t unfold.
I also hauled out some fake roaches and fake dog poop that I had bought last year. I figured it had been a year since they had seen them so maybe it would surprise them all over again.
I put the fake poop in the middle of my daughter’s doorway, to make sure she wouldn’t miss it. I put one fake roach in her suitcase that she was about to unpack. I put another in her bed. I also put one in my son’s bed. Then I threw a couple into the bathtub.
The poop thing sort of backfired. I forgot that even if a teenager sees (real) poop on the floor, he/she will never acknowledge its presence or else he/she might have to actually clean it up. Perish the thought. They will look the other way, step clear over it, and say, “What poop?” when asked about it.
My daughter had friends over that day. One at a time they stepped over the poop; not one of them said a thing. No “Hey, there’s poop on your floor” or “Watch out for the poop!” Just a silent understanding. Her friends still think she had poop on her floor, I’m sure.
Come to think of it, they probably saw the roaches in the bathtub, too. I’ll bet they think we’re real slobs.
But the roaches were worth their weight in gold. As my daughter was unpacking, I heard this shriek from across the house. That roach has fallen out onto her foot and I thought she was gonna throw the whole suitcase across the room.
Both kids jumped when they saw the roaches in their beds. My daughter screamed again. As prepared you try to get yourself for any surprise, a roach in your bed will get you every time.
And I giggled. I giggled when I was planning it, I giggled as I was sewing, I giggled when I hid the roaches, and I giggled when they got home. I’m not very good at keeping a straight face in any situation, but on April Fool’s Day it’s hopeless.
We all laughed and laughed when they discovered their bedding all sewn together. We went to bed, exhausted. And guess what? Yep, my bed was short-sheeted! The little devils.
The next morning when my alarm went off, I just about jumped through the roof. They had turned the volume ALL the way up. I thought I was gonna have a heart attack.
And I heard giggling down the hall. My little ones … they have learned their lessons well.
