What, why, where, how, who? We Moms ask ourselves those questions every day now.
WHAT could kids possibly be thinking when they do some of these idiotic things? WHY do they do this to us? WHERE can we go hide? HOW can we beat it into their heads? And WHO is going to do it when we run away from home?
I don’t know how many columns I can squeeze out of the toilet paper thing (excuse the pun), but you’re getting ready to read another one.
First, The Mom gets so tired of doing everything around the house, she throws a tantrum. And for sure she is the only one who ever changes the toilet paper roll. Then The Mom will rant and rave about how she is going on strike and if they ever want their laundry done again, they will have to start pitching in, and the LEAST they can do is change the silly roll when it is empty.
“Empty” is the key phrase here. They know now they are dead meat if The Mom finds a bare roll when it’s her turn. They are sneaky little devils. So they leave two squares. Maybe three.
Now you know as well as I do that two squares might as well be none. Don’t kid yourselves … they know this, too. They know that whoever follows them will have to change the roll. Yes, they know it, but technically it is not “empty”, so they don’t. Kids don’t do anything they don’t “have” to.
So they leave it for the next person. Who 99% of the time is, of course, The Mom.
The same behavior is true for the paper towel roll, the garbage can liner, the cereal boxes and the milk carton.
The paper towel roll will get down to the very last one, and suddenly everybody stops needing them. They turn to napkins, dishtowels, and sponges. The last paper towel will last longer than the whole rest of the roll did. No, nobody will ever use that last paper towel, because that would mean they would have to change the roll. Horrors.
The garbage can is the opposite. It can be overflowing onto the floor, but the only one who seems to notice is The Mom. Somehow they can always fit one more thing in it. It may take squashing it down with their hands, or jumping up and down in it with their feet, but by golly, they aren’t going to change the bag.
Cereal boxes and milk cartons go hand in hand with the garbage can dilemma above. When they are empty, they take up a lot of space in the trashcan. Even if you crush them and fold them, it’s still hard to fit one into a full can, and the clever little things know this. They certainly don’t want to have to change the trash bag, so …
They plan ahead. They will never use the last two tablespoons of cereal from a box. And they will never pour the last half-cup of milk from the carton.
They hope against hope that The Mom will end up using the last of both. Then The Mom will have to crush and fold the containers. Then The Mom will discover the trash is already full.
Hopefully all this will occur when the kids aren’t around, so then The Mom will also have to change the trash can liner. Timing is everything when you’re a kid.
Other than throwing more tantrums, setting more rules, and threatening to run away again, there’s not a lot The Mom can do about this phenomenon. Until, of course, the kids have children of their own.
Then we Moms will take great pleasure in coaching our grandchildren in the secrets of toilet-paper-changing-avoidance, and the how-to’s of never-getting-caught-with-the-empty-milk-carton.
Payback will be sweet, won’t it?
