There are some things I’ve always wanted to do but just can’t.  Being a mere mortal gets in the way of some of these things; other times it’s just because it’s wasteful or maybe even illegal.  You’re probably raising your eyebrows right now, but all of us have some of these.  Admit it.

I’ve have always wanted to get in a really fast car and drive it as fast as it can go, without fear of getting killed, or without getting a ticket.  Since I am human and death is a definite possibility, I’m a scare-dy cat in both those departments.  So, I’ll never do it.  But I sure want to.

I’ve also always wanted to buy a brand new can of shaving cream and squirt out the whole thing just to see how big a pile it would make.  But I can never bring myself to waste a whole can, and besides I’m supposed to be a grown-up and not do those kinds of things.  But I want to.

When I was growing up I was the only girl for a long time, with three brothers.  They teased me unmercifully and hung my dolls up by the hair in their fort.  Anyone who has ever been teased by a sibling knows what I’m talking about.  I always wished I could do something to get back at them.  But I knew that either I’d get in trouble, or worse, they’d get back at me even worse.  But I sure wanted to.

I’ve always wanted to parachute out of an airplane, just to experience free-fall, but I’m too afraid of getting hurt.

I’ve always wanted to mix up a big batch of batter for chocolate cake, then eat the batter instead of baking the cake.  All of it.

I’ve always wanted to swim with a porpoise.  Like Flipper.

I’ve always wanted to fly.  As in no airplane.  As in like Superman.

I’ve always wished I could touch a cloud, like the Pillsbury Doughboy.  Heck, I’ve always wanted to touch him, too.

So what are the things you’ve always wanted to do?  E-mail me at [email protected] and tell me about them, and I’ll pick the best ones and write about them in a later article.  Leave out the ones that involve money … we all have fantasies about being able to afford that trip around the world and stuff.  And they can’t be immoral or sicko.  No “I’ve always wanted to kill my mother­in-law” or “I’ve always dreamed of being a porn star.”

So, let’s hear ‘em.  I’ve always wanted to know what other people were thinking …