I had a little trouble finding it this morning.  My computer, that is.

My house is being painted.  My world is not round.  Be nice to me.

The painters arrive very early, so the first thing I have to do is get up earlier than usual and be completely dressed and made up by the time they get here.  I don’t want to scare them.

All the furniture is piled in the middle of each room.  Even the clothes in my closet have drape cloths over them, so getting dressed is like going on a treasure hunt.  If you see me with clothes that don’t match, see paragraph #2 above (be nice to me).

The only thing truly accessible right now is my bathtub.  I’m sure it’s because they just didn’t think about putting stuff in it, or I’m sure they would have.

Yes, I found my computer in the middle of the room and found enough wires to plug in so it would turn on.  My chair was piled high with gift boxes.  Okay, so maybe I shouldn’t have saved all those boxes from last Christmas, but it seemed like a good idea at the time.  I’m sure as heck not gonna throw them away now, being as how Christmas is right around the corner and all.

I moved the boxes and squeezed into my chair, in between the file cabinet two inches on my right and another chair two inches on my left.  I am sitting six inches from the keyboard, because, well, those aforementioned boxes are one inch behind me now.  I hope you can appreciate the arthritic position I’m in right now.

They had to move the china cabinet away from the wall and gave me ten minutes to clear it out.  Okay, so maybe I should have guessed I would need to do that and could have done it ahead of time, but I didn’t, all right?

The television is not plugged in, the stereo doesn’t reach its outlet, and my kitchen table is piled with stuff that’s usually on the countertops.  Encyclopedias are piled next to the box for Halloween decorations.  Okay, so maybe I should have taken down the Halloween decorations by now, but I haven’t.  My current thinking is that pumpkins with Santa Claus hats might be kinda cute.

My daughter asked me this morning, “Mom, do you know where my leggings are?”

I thought that was pretty funny … that she would think I knew where ANYTHING was.

But moms always have to take a stab at such requests.  “Oh,” I replied, “you might look under the pillows which are on the couch which are under the tarp which is in the middle of the living room.”

The dogs don’t know who is good and who is bad, so they bark every time the door opens.  My kitchen is like Main Street.  I found the coffee pot, so I sit there in the mornings, with my cup on the one-square-foot of table I have cleared off, and try to tell myself it will be over soon.

But here’s the kicker … we’re moving to another house in two weeks.  This will not be over soon.  My world is not going to be round for quite some time.

So if you’re looking for me, I’ll be in my bathtub.