Well, it’s over. Darn. I love the Christmas season … shopping and cantatas and live manger scenes and lights and family and friends and pumpkin pie and wrapping gifts and watching my children’s faces when they open their surprises.
Now we begin to think about taking down the tree, eating leftovers, and (ugh!) exchanging gifts. One of our friends, though, doesn’t have that option this year.
He was home for lunch one day last week and his wife told him, “Honey, we need to talk.”
She must have seen the panic on his face and she reassured him. “I just want to give you your Christmas present a little early, that’s all,” she said.
She pointed to a small package in the living room. He sort of grumbled. No telling what was going through that head of his, but probably something along the lines of “well, it’s not that new shotgun I had my eyes on, that’s for sure.”
He opened it and in it were all sorts of Ralph Lauren clothes. Our friend likes Ralph Lauren stuff, but none of these could possibly fit him … they were tiny. Small enough to fit a …
“I’m giving you the gift you’ve wanted for so long … a baby!” she explained.
Being a bit confused, he asked, “Well, where are you gonna get a baby from?” (Wished I could have seen that…)
It finally sank in what she was trying to tell him and our friend cried tears of joy. His real Christmas present will be arriving sometime in July.
Anyway, back to my original thought … this sure isn’t a gift you can change your mind on, no sirree!!
You can’t return him and demand your money back. You can’t put him back where you found him. You can’t put him away in the attic when you’re tired of playing with him. You can’t exchange him for a model that doesn’t cry as much. You can’t trade a bald baby for one that has hair. You can’t request one that is less messy, sleeps more, or eats less. Too big? Too bad. Feet look funny? Deal with it. Wrong sex? Try, try again. He’s got a runny nose? If using one of those bulb things doesn’t make you throw up, well you’re two steps ahead of most new parents. Nope, this gift is yours and yours for keeps. And his batteries will never run down, I assure you.
Anyway, CONGRATULATIONS to the new parents! Soon she will be saying those three little words spoken by pregnant women throughout history …
“Don’t Touch Me.”
