This is the first in a two-part series on everything you need to know about being a parent of a student who goes to “The Eighth Grade Dance”.
This week: The Rules
Since I moved to Bay City only three years ago, this was the first time I had the dubious honor of having an eighth grader who attended “The Eighth Grade Dance”. I did a few things right since I have been through a few proms with my older kids, but I didn’t know all “the rules” of the Eighth Grade Dance, so I also did some things wrong. Here are the things I learned:
Q. If you are a girl, do you wear a long or short dress?
A. The girls think it HAS to be long. This is the event they have been practicing for their whole lives when they played “dress up”. Girls, I hate to tell you, but the guys don’t care, as long as they get to see at least a little skin.
Q. If you’re a guy, do you wear a tux?
A. The girls love guys in tuxes so if you don’t own a suit, maybe renting a tux would be cheaper than buying a suit or jacket anyway. If you own a suit or jacket, wear it. The guys don’t care. The guys hate tight collars no matter what they wear.
Q. Should the girls get their hair done?
A. Girls says absolutely yes, guys say absolutely no.
Q. Should the girls get fake nails put on?
A. Girls say yes, guys don’t care. It doesn’t really matter what anyone thinks here … they all do it anyway. One week later, they start to come off. Fourteen-year-olds are pretty rough on long nails.
Q. Should the parents come to the dance?
A. Well, yes and no, depending on your kid. My daughter’s date came to our house, we took pictures, then they went out to eat. I didn’t go because my older kids taught me well how easy it is to embarrass them by showing up and ogling at such events. But there is a fine line between attentiveness and embarrassment, which I obviously need work on. My daughter was fine with me not going. Until afterwards, that is, when she said, ”EVERYBODY” else’s mom was there! EVERYBODY looked so good and YOU weren’t there to take pictures.” Once again, the guys don’t care. My advice is to plan on going for at least a little while.
Q. Should you buy flowers for your date?
A. Yes.
Q. Should the mom help the guys pick out the flowers?
A. Absolutely. If a girl says her dress is “mint green”, the guy doesn’t have a clue what that means.
Q. How long will it take the girls to get ready?
A. Five hours.
Q. How long will it take the guys to get ready?
A. Five minutes.
Q. Should you rent a limo for the night?
A. Only if you want the rest of the parents to gang up on you and beat you to a pulp.
Next week: Things that can and did go wrong.
