Do you have a pet peeve? 

My son asked me that a while back and it started me thinking.  A “peeve” is something that drives you crazy.  So, a “pet peeve” would be that one thing that REALLY drives you crazy. 

For some, it’s how the toothpaste has to be squeezed.  For some, it’s how the dishes are stacked.  For others it has to do with using correct grammar.  For my mom, it has to do with men not wearing hats indoors.

I realized I don’t have a pet peeve.  I have about a hundred of them. 

Some of my pet peeves have to do with driving.  Okay, a lot of them have to do with driving. 

First there’s the “hurry up and go slow driver” (or HUAGSD for short).  Let’s say I’m driving along a country road.  There is nobody in front of me or behind me for miles and miles.  A car pulls up from a side street.  Does he wait for me to pass before he pulls onto the road?  OF COURSE NOT!  He hurries to pull in front of me, then goes 30 miles per hour. 

Then there’s the FSTPOYBD, or the “first stop then put on your blinker driver”.  This one driver has the uncanny ability to create havoc in traffic situations in less than ten seconds. 

There are two lanes of traffic going in each direction.  Traffic is going along smoothly.  If other drivers in traffic see a car with a blinker on, they automatically begin to slow or change lanes around the blinking car.  But the FSTPOYBD throws a wrench in all that. 

Yes, sometimes he stops dead in the middle of the street, AND THEN turns on his blinker, oblivious to the cars screeching to a halt behind him.  Better than that is when he is stopped along with the rest of us at a red light.  The light turns green.  The traffic begins to move.  He stops.  AND THEN he turns on his blinker.  AAARRRGGGHHH! 

This next one has been a pet peeve of mine for years, but it’s one of those things, sort of like admitting you have mice in your house, that you just don’t talk about at a party.  But a lot of us are thinking it.

Guys, you’ve caught a lot of flak about the toilet seat thing … you know … how we women think you ought to always put it up when you’re doing your thing, and down when you’re through.  Well, I’m gonna let you in on a little secret … there are some women out there who have that beat hands down.

Some of you already know what I’m talking about.  You see, there are some women who prefer to “hover” rather than sit down if they’re not in their own homes. 

I can tell you straight away that hoverers must be taller than I am, because if I try to hover, well, I’m already sitting.  It’s very difficult to be a hoverer when you’re only five feet all.  Unless maybe you have thighs of steel. 

To hover is fine … to each his, I mean, her own.  But here’s my pet peeve:  some hoverers don’t bother to lift the seat up or clean the seat after they have peed all over it.  Urine on a toilet seat can be pretty invisible, so when I come along, in a hurry, and sit down … in someone else’s pee … well, EWWWWWWW!  These women are worse than men.

Now, I’m not saying I’m perfect.  I’m sure I do lots of stuff that drives people crazy.  Just ask my kids. 

I like the dishes stacked biggest to smallest.  I don’t like it when people say “I ain’t got no …”.  And I squeeze the toothpaste in the middle.