It was the middle of the night.  Nature called.  I rolled out of bed with my eyes still closed, stumbled into the restroom, and …

You guessed it!  Someone had left the seat “up” and I was hip-high in toilet water.  Gives new meaning to a “midnight swim”. 

“Time to redecorate!” I announced. 

Let me explain…

Now, I was raised to think that men should put the seat down after they’re through with their business.  But, boy oh boy, I’ve found out not everyone thinks that way!

I’ve heard arguments go on for days about one particular incident or another.  I’ve even seen where some guy invented a toilet seat called “the marriage mender” that puts itself down.

I’ll never forget when a group of us were discussing this delicate subject and one of the guys said, “Where does it say that the seat goes down after we’re through?  Huh?  Why, I think if we have to put it down after we’re done, well, you ladies should put it UP after you’re through, too.”

Of course, that brought a chorus of agreement from the guys and a bunch of dirty looks from their wives.

Men, beware!  We have ammunition in many colors!

You also complain about the little fluffy things we cover the lids with.  You say with them on, well, it’s hard to put the seat up and let go.

Think about it.  You don’t think we put them on to look pretty, do you??  When they get old and thin enough where they’ll finally let the seat stay up, we redecorate!  We get new fluffy things!

And you thought all these years it was because we wanted a new look …

Nope.  Two-year-olds are not the only ones who relish having a “dry” night, you know.

So, men … it’s really your choice.  Put the seat down, or suffer.  Many years of fluffy lids … multiple bathroom themes … many, many dollars …

Hey, we’re just trying to stay dry.