How to Impress Women vs. Men (04.20.2001)

There are all sorts of people/authors/books/radio shows out there trying to help women catch the perfect guy, and the men to catch that great babe.

I’ve listened and read a bunch of this stuff, and I’ve come to the conclusion that (a) there’s really no such thing as a perfect man or woman, and (b) the men have the short end of the stick on this deal. 

Really, though, those perfect guys and babes are only in the movies.  My husband got an email once with a photo of a drop-dead gorgeous woman.  The caption read, “Just remember, somebody out there is really tired of putting up with her constant complaints…”  Now, isn’t that the truth!

There’s even a book for women giving rules on what to do and not do when “shopping” for the perfect man.  I read this book, and I don’t believe this man exists.  He constantly romances her, cuddles with her, and buys her expensive jewelry.  He rubs her feet, listens to her without falling asleep, writes love letters to her, and shops with her.  Yeah, and probably looks like Robert Redford, too.

Shops with her?  Are you laughing yet? 

Okay, so maybe some of this is possible before they’re married, you know when couples are still trying to impress each other.  Some guys will do a lot to impress their women.  I received an email last week with a list on “How to Impress a Woman”.  This is what it suggested (with a few of my own edits here and there), so men … take note!:

  • Wine her
  • Dine her
  • Call her
  • Hug her
  • Support her
  • Hold her
  • Surprise her
  • Compliment her
  • Smile at her
  • Listen to her
  • Laugh with her
  • Cry with her
  • Romance her
  • Believe in her
  • Cuddle with her
  • Shop with her
  • Give her jewelry
  • Buy her flowers
  • Hold her hand
  • Write love letters to her

If you do these things, I GUARANTEE you will have her wrapped around your little finger.

And women, turnabout is fair play.  Here’s the list of “How to Impress a Man”:

  • Show up
  • Bring food and drink

About Sarah Higgins

Sarah wrote the column "Life's Funny!" for the Bay City Tribune (Bay City, Texas) from 1998 to 2003. The columns, primarily based on her hectic household full of four children, pets, and constant crises, are posted on this site. In 2014, she was diagnosed with a rare type of cancer, adenoid cystic carcinoma (ACC), in her sinus cavity. ACC is a wicked type of cancer with poor survivability rates. She underwent the resection of the tumor, part of her eye socket, her cheek bone, facial tissue, and half her nose, followed by 6 weeks of grueling radiation and 15 reconstructive surgeries. In 2021, her surgeon told her, "Well, I think you've beat this thing!" Posts about the early surgeries are also posted on this site by Sarah's son, Donnie. Today, she lives in her Montana log home just north of Yellowstone National Park with her dog, Charlie.