My house was quiet.  It was also very clean.  My kids were scattered all across the country, and I was basking in the tranquility.

Then I got the first phone call.

My son called from his grandmother’s house to say he had broken his arm. 

Then my daughter called from New Jersey to say she had broken her foot.

As the saying goes, when it rains, it pours.

Fast forward a month and a half.  We made the trip to Dr. Simons to have the foot cast removed.

The younger kids wanted to come watch.  So, there we were, a mother with three children, two of whom are in casts.  I realized it must have looked a bit suspicious.

I wanted to hang signs around their necks, “No, I don’t beat my children.”

I’m a little sensitive in that area. You see, seventeen years ago, I left my then 20-month-old son sitting next to my then-teenage brother on my mom’s couch while I went to get something to drink.  “Will you watch him for a little bit?” I asked.  Oh, silly me.

Twenty seconds.  He rolled backwards off the couch, bonked his head on the coffee table and was in a heap on the floor.  He wailed for a while, but we were finally able to soothe him.  The next morning, he was crawling using one hand and one elbow.  Hmmm.  Not good.

Since we were due to fly home that afternoon, we made an appointment with the doctor on the army post where we were living.  Our appointment was in two days. 

When the x-rays came back, the doctor eyed us suspiciously.  His arm was broken.  It turns out it is very unusual for a child that small to have a broken bone.  Even worse that we had waited three days to bring him in. 

“How did this happen?” he queried.

“He fell off the couch,” we answered.  His eyes lit up in anger.

We later discovered that child abusers have several excuses they always use.  Number one is that they fell down the stairs.  Number two is that they fell off the couch.

So, yes, I’m sensitive about broken bones.

When you see my son and you ask him how his indestructible waterproof fiberglass cast got broken, he will tell you a piece fell off while he was surfing. 

I swear it’s the truth.  I can’t make this stuff up.