Happy Wrong Birthday (10.01.1999)

Happy Wrong Birthday (10.01.1999)

A good friend of my daughter’s dropped by our house last night.  He walked in with a brand new bucket of ice cream, set it down, opened it up, and put some birthday candles in it.

I love parties.  But I just couldn’t figure out what this one was for.

“Happy Birthday, Walter!” he boomed when my son walked into the room.  Boy, was Walter surprised.  Mainly because it wasn’t his birthday.  Not for another month anyway.

Well, it seems my daughter, who is a foreign exchange student in Belgium right now, had told this friend to be sure and wish Walter a Happy Birthday the next time he was in town.  We laughed about it and had the party anyway.  We sang “Happy Birthday”, ate ice cream, and Walter wanted to know where the presents were.

I wish I could say I was shocked at my daughter’s miscalculation, but the truth is, she comes by it quite naturally.

Last year, as my son’s 18th birthday was approaching, I emailed him at college with a long syrupy letter about how I couldn’t believe he was so old and stuff.  I went on and on.  “I can’t be old enough to have a son whose eighteen!”, I pouted.  I reminded him that now he was old enough to be drafted and buy Lotto tickets.

When I received his response, it definitely wasn’t the “Thanks, Mom” I was anticipating.  It went something like this:

“Seeing as how you’re my mom and everything, and seeing as how you took me out to celebrate my birthday last year and made a pretty big deal about it, I would have thought you’d know that I am nineteen.  I have been buying Lotto tickets for a year now.”

I was stunned.  How could I not have remembered how old my firstborn was?!  And that I had made a big deal about it last year?!  Oh, how the memory fails me as I get older!

I shared my humiliating experience with my mom.  She confessed she could never remember how old we all were. She also confessed that she and my dad used to argue every year about whether my birthday was on August 24th or 25th.  I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.

So now my daughter has already begun the tailspin into birthday purgatory.  Poor thing … I must warn her it’ll get a lot worse after childbirth kills all those brain cells.

About Sarah Higgins

Sarah wrote the column "Life's Funny!" for the Bay City Tribune (Bay City, Texas) from 1998 to 2003. The columns, primarily based on her hectic household full of four children, pets, and constant crises, are posted on this site. In 2014, she was diagnosed with a rare type of cancer, adenoid cystic carcinoma (ACC), in her sinus cavity. ACC is a wicked type of cancer with poor survivability rates. She underwent the resection of the tumor, part of her eye socket, her cheek bone, facial tissue, and half her nose, followed by 6 weeks of grueling radiation and 15 reconstructive surgeries. In 2021, her surgeon told her, "Well, I think you've beat this thing!" Posts about the early surgeries are also posted on this site by Sarah's son, Donnie. Today, she lives in her Montana log home just north of Yellowstone National Park with her dog, Charlie.