Just like when the Pony Express rider used to ride into town, people are excited about the speed with which we can communicate now. 

E-mail … it’s changing our society.  It’s spawning a whole new species of correspondents.

The way I see it, there are three stages of e-maildom: (1) the bright-eyed greenhorn, (2) the seasoned veteran, and (3) the professional.

First, someone talks the greenhorn into the fact that they can no longer live without electronic mail.  So they finally just do it, sometimes reluctantly, sometimes enthused, usually scared to death. 

For me, it was when my son arranged an e-mail address for me.  Of course, I didn’t use it at first because I couldn’t even remember how to access it and it was still easier (and much less scary) to just pick up the phone. 

I finally got up enough courage to send my first e-mail.  I sat there staring at the screen, marveling that this could be sent electronically to my son in the blink of an eye.  I pushed the “send” button, half expecting something to blow up or something.  It was a big moment when I realized I had done it.  I was so keyed up I just had to call him.

“Did you get my e-mail?” I asked with bated breath.

“Yes, Mom.  I got your e-mail,” he responded with the voice of an experienced professional.  He e-mailed me back just to be nice.

I was so excited when I got it, I had to call him and tell him I had gotten it.  When you’re a novice, this goes on with every e-mail for several days or even weeks.  Your phone bill goes up dramatically when you first get e-mail, even though it’s supposed to be the other way around.

Then you get to where you can navigate around e-mail pretty well.  You learn how to download, upload, and the most thrilling thing of all, you learn how to forward.  It’s an electrifying time in e-maildom.  You have shifted into the next category: the seasoned veteran.

When you’re at a party, you answer proudly when someone asks you if you have an e-mail address.  You extol the virtues of e-mail to prospective greenhorns.  You are glad you are not in the dark ages like they are.

Your friends start sending you every cute joke, cartoon, and dancing heart page they’ve been sent and you respond to every one, and forward them on to all your other friends. 

If picking up your (real) mail everyday is a highlight in your life like it is in mine, well, now you think you’ve died and gone to heaven.  You start checking your e-mail every day.  Then you start checking it several times a day.  Then you can’t walk past the computer without checking it.  You lose hours out of every day.  Your children begin to complain that they are hungry.  The laundry piles up.

Finally, you become an old pro.  Forwards aren’t nearly as exciting as they used to be.  You get so much junk, you don’t read anything whose return address you don’t recognize. 

Your mother calls.  Your mother just got e-mail.

“Did you get my e-mail?” she asks with bated breath.

“Yes, Mom.  I got your e-mail,” you respond with the voice of an experienced professional.

You e-mail her back.  You forward her some dancing hearts.

You’ve made her day.