Congy, wongy, and king. Flippers, hiccups, and grubs. Umbagaya. Tamayo.
You have to be a mother to hear such language from a one- or two-year-old and understand every word. Some words they get almost right, but the part they get wrong changes the entire meaning of the word. Some words are just plain Greek. My daughter used to say “Batah” when she wanted to be picked up. Go figure. But you see what I mean? Greek. If you’re not in on the translation, you are totally lost.
My sister offered to stay with my kids once when we were out of town. Of course she could understand her own kids, but she was in trouble when it came to mine. After my two-year-old would say something, she would stare blankly at her, then turn to the six-year-old for translation.
It was a typically hectic day. She had called the Poison Control Center twice and was worried they would end up questioning her worthiness as a mother and person.
My toddler ran screaming into the kitchen. “Dinner has my flippers! And my grubs tamaya!” Since it was the dead of winter, anything having to do with swimming and flippers didn’t make any sense. And my sister could only guess what the grubs were, but it sounded pretty gross. She didn’t want to have to call Poison Control again.
Her son, Daniel, ran screaming in behind her, Bert and Ernie slippers on his feet. “My name’s NOT ‘Dinner!’ he cried. And the reason I took her flippers is because she has my hiccup. I didn’t take her grubs.”
The one-year-old entered the room. “Umbagaya.” Then he pointed to his mouth. “Congy, wongy, king.”
My sister was pretty sure this meant he had swallowed something else poisonous. She reached for the phone.
The six-year-old walked into the room. In desperation, my sister asked if she had any idea what was going on.
“Sure,” she said. “Dinner (Daniel) took Elizabeth’s flippers (slippers) because she took his toy hiccup (pickup) truck. She thinks Dinner (Daniel) took her grubs (gloves) tamaya (tomorrow, which means yesterday), but Walter says they’re umbagaya (outside). He also wants some congy (cookies), wongy (water), and king (candy).”
But of course.
