Last month it was a Chameleon; this month it’s a Portuguese Water Dog.

If your kids are like mine, they are always begging for one more pet.  You and I both know who ends up taking care of them most of the time, and it is not said kids.

But recently, the types of pets have veered away from the traditional stray dog or cat to the rare and/or weird.

We’ve gone through the parakeet stage.  Then there was the chicken, a few ducks, and a baby bird we tried to keep alive.  I am not a bird person.  They’re messy, a lot of trouble, and you can’t exactly cuddle with them.  On top of that, one day they look fine, and the next day you find them dead in their cage.

We’ve also nurtured fish and an aquarium full of hermit crabs.  A couple of times the hermit crabs got out and we’d have to search behind all the furniture for these creatures.  We knew if we didn’t find them and they died, well, the whole room would end up smelling like dead fish.

Fish are really a lot more trouble than they seem.  They are either eating each other or having babies and somebody else is eating the babies.  If the water is too cold, they die.  If the water is too warm, they die.  If one fish gets sick, they all get sick and die.  If they eat too much, they die.  If they don’t eat enough, they die.

For the brief period of time we tried to keep an aquarium going, I made about fifteen trips to the store to replenish all the dead fish.  I guess you’d say I’m not a fish person either.

My son went through a stage where he wanted to keep pet snakes, but I put my foot down.  A hermit crab is one thing, but a snake loose in the house in a whole ‘nuther thing.

Then he wanted an iguana, but to me it’s pretty much like a snake with legs.

We were at a per store recently, buying something for our boring, traditional dog and cat.  I knew it was probably a mistake to bring my son with me, but it was unavoidable.

Much to my chagrin, he homed in on the reptilian section and within minutes he was flagging me down to show me the coolest thing.

The cool thing was a Chameleon, which for those of you who don’t know, is not the garden-type lizard I’ve always called a chameleon.  This guy was shorter and fatter, and turns all sorts of colors, including red and blue.

“I’ve ALWAYS wanted a Chameleon.  PLEASE?  I’ll spend my own money!”

Behind his back I asked the sales clerk how much is was.  I thought I might be able to handle a small lizard in the house.  But I about dropped my teeth when she told me he was a hundred dollars!

There is no lizard in the world worth a hundred dollars to me.  I told him I’d go catch him some free ones.  He wasn’t amused.

Now he’s talking about Portuguese Water Dogs.  Apparently, he saw a show about this breed and he can’t stop talking about them.  They were originally used to transport messages between boats and they can swim for an hour at a time, even though they weigh only about 30 pounds.

They are smart, too.  They can drive fish into nets and are also used for getting fishing nets untangled.

I told him that was wonderful.  When we move to our 150-foot yacht and need to send messages to the King of Spain, he will surely come in handy.  Or the next time I’m out casting miles of net from our ski boat, I’ll be glad we have him.

Again, he was not amused.

So, I told him I’d give him one for a wedding present.  Then his wife can take care of him.