The husband was the one giving us the tour.
They had just completed building the home of their dreams, and it was really quite stunning. We were led into the master bedroom and he swung open some doors to expose a huge master closet. We ooohed and aaahed.
“This is HER closet,” he informed us.
Then he opened a second set of doors and added, “and this is mine.” It was less than half the size of his wife’s. All the guys in the tour group exchanged glances and nodded in sympathy.
It is true. For a woman, there is no such thing as a closet that is too big.
BUT, in defense of my gender, I’d like to ask the males in my audience to answer these three questions:
1) Would you like it if your wife wore the same thing every single day?
Unless it’s that little black negligee, I think not.
We don’t call them uniforms, but that’s basically what men wear. Businessmen wear suits, shirts, and ties. Others in more casual professions wear jeans, shirts, and boots. Some, like policemen, actually wear real uniforms. Basic stuff. No matter how you look at it, they don’t have to make a lot of choices in the mornings, and also don’t have to go shopping for new and different stuff all the time. Men like it that way. Women accept it.
Women never wear the same thing two days in a row. We like it that way. You like us to look good, so part of the reason we do it is for you. It would be easier on your heart if you just accept it.
2) Assuming you agree that women are expected to change outfits daily, do you think that one or two pairs of shoes should match them all?
The answer is NO! With men, the shoe choices are simple: dress shoes, boots, loafers, sandals, or tennis shoes. Most men will have these five pairs lined up neatly in their small closet.
But women’s shoes are as varied as the clothes we are trying to accessorize. We couldn’t possibly wear black boots with brown pants, or sandals with a wool skirt. There are clunky loafers and slip-on loafers; there are loafers with tall heels, and ones with flat heels. It’s not that we WANT all these shoes. It’s that we NEED them.
My husband and I share a closet; I have the left side and he has the right. Okay, so I have some of my stuff on the bottom rack on his side, but hey, see question #1 above. Every morning I have to do the search thing to find the perfect shoes for the outfit of the day. Every evening I walk in and kick them off, too tired to put them in their proper place.
Pretty soon there is just a big pile of shoes, growing daily, encroaching on my husband’s territory. Of course, there is plenty of floor space on his half because, well, there’s only the five pairs lined up over there. I call the pile the “shoe monster”. Don’t get me wrong, though. It’s a monster that I need and love. Just needs a little TLC from time to time.
3) If we agreed to give you a bigger closet, would you like to shop more?
Saying “would you like to shop more” implies you liked to shop a little in the first place, which we all know is not true. The real reason you guys came up with this idea of wearing the same thing every day was really because you hate to pick out new clothes.
The answer to this is “No”. The dread of shopping for enough clothes to fill up a big closet would put most men into a fetal position. If a guy had a bigger closet, it would remain half empty.
So guys, next time you walk into your closet and see that she’s got 75% of it, instead of getting mad, count your blessings. Look at the 50 pairs of shoes she’s got and remind yourself that she had to shop for every pair.
And be glad it wasn’t you. Be thankful for your small closet.
